The Unlikely Ones
Chapter Nine: Hate Is Easy
a Lord of the Rings fanfiction
by Van Donovan
joy@crackerboxpalace.com

After another hour Merry came out into the yard with a tray and a large pitcher of lemonade and two glasses. He wrinkled his nose as he stepped out into the dirt, looking at the expanse of fertilizer spread on what would be the flowerbed before him. "Frodo?" he called, for Frodo was not in sight. The boy had in fact gone around back of the hole to the pony stalls to return the unused manure he'd gotten but at Merry's calling he set the wheelbarrow in the middle of the path and ran back around front. Merry laughed when he saw him, for Frodo was covered in dirt and grime and all but his teeth and the whites of his eyes seemed smudged black. "Phew, you stink," he said fondly and Frodo used the back of his sleeve to wipe at his face.
"Don't get great gardens just from water, you know," he commented with a crooked grin then spotted the lemonade and crossed the rest of the yard so Merry wouldn't have to trod over the freshly laid fertilizer. He moved to reach for a glass then looked timidly up at Merry, as if for approval. "Can I?"
Merry laughed, "Of course, Frodo. It's just a glass; easily washable."
Frodo sighed with relief and took the glass and drank down half the glass on his first gulp. "Aaah, wow! That's bitter!" he laughed, licking his lips.
"Should I put more sugar in?" Merry asked, concerned.
"No, no, I like my lemonade to be sour. I mean, it's lemon right? Mom and dad just prefer it sweet." He made a face. "Bilbo and Pip like it really sweet. So this is good." He finished the rest of his glass to Merry's amusement. They sat down on the fence for a while to talk, with Frodo explaining what he was doing in the yard and Merry listening carefully. The Master of Buckland was no stranger to gardening for he had grown plenty in his youth and leant an ear to Sam during the winters when the gardener had not had as much to busy himself with, but it was a wonder to him how precise and planned Frodo was on the matter. He really was his father's son.
Frodo was about to tell Merry about the two hobbitlasses that had stopped by earlier when a pony drawn carriage came down the lane and stopped before the long path leading up to the main hall entrance. Frodo heard Merry groan as he set the tray and lemonade down on the ground and he looked at the carriage. "Who?" but Merry was already walking away from him, heading down to greet the short round man that was exiting the carriage. Frodo followed, curious.
"Well hullo again Mr. Hornblower!" he called cheerfully although it was not hard to see that it was a feigned cheer. "Two visits in one day! I truly must have been missed!"
"Aye indeed Meriadoc," Peteshaw said as he waddled his way down the path where Merry met him at the gate and opened it for him. "I stopped by your work again but was told you were already gone." He strode in beside Merry, clapping a hand on his back, although he meant for to aim for Merry's shoulder but their height differences made it a misjudgment. "The boys and I were discussing the party, wondering where it should be held and we all came to the same conclusion, my dear gentlehobbit," and with that he waved a hand to the large abode before them. Merry groaned inwardly, for he had known this was coming.
"Not at Brandyhall, surely?" he said in light surprise. "I'm afraid it's just too big for me to clean alone, since Estella," but he was cut off.
"Have this young lad here do it then!" Hornblower said tartly as he caught Frodo standing on the side of the path, watching them.
Frodo sputtered, insulted, "I'm not his maid!"
Merry looked sharp at Frodo and Peteshaw raised a disbelieving eye.
"He's my gardener," Merry said hastily before the boy and the tyrant could get into a verbal battle with each other. Merry did not want to pacify Peteshaw by degrading Frodo any, but he had more sense than the boy to not insult him.
"Gardener?" Hornblower said and looked the boy over, for sure enough he was covered in dirt and grime and certainly looked like he belonged there.
"Yes. Gardener. Frodo Gardener," Merry said and winced as Hornblower pushed past the lad to continue his way towards Brandyhall.
"Well, no matter, have him clean himself up, give him some more coins and get Brandyhall cleaned up as well. We've all decided it will be perfect," Peteshaw rubbed his belly and nodded, looking back to Merry with a twinkle in his eyes. "I've got a list of names all ready for who to invite; I think you will be pleased with the selection." He produced a rolled up scroll of parchment from his breast pocket which Merry would bet had been there since this morning. He reluctantly took it and scanned it. With the exception of Pippin, who was invited because he was Thain and no other reason, and Sam who was invited as Mayor of Hobbiton and no other reason, no one on the list was a friend of his.
"My, you've got just about every Hornblower this side of the Shire on here," he said dryly which elicited a robust laugh from Peteshaw. The number of Brandybucks could be counted on one hand, which was suffice to say Merry was the only one. Merry bitterly noted Estella's name near the end of the list, so neatly crossed out with a black line through it. He rolled the scroll back up and held it tight lest he say something sharp.
"Aye, indeed, it will be a grand party!"
"Some of these people live quite far away," Merry said in hopes to get some of them removed. He had never met many of the Hornblowers but if they were anything like Peteshaw he couldn't imagine a house full of them.
"Indeed, indeed, one of the deciding factors for Brandyhall as candidate! Why you're the only hole in the area that has its own stables, and we know there are rooms to spare so we can merry-make well into the night and not have to worry about finding our way home until morning!"
"Now wait a minute," Merry started, because although he was a nice hobbit and had a sort of duty to host parties and things as the Master, he was not a free inn, "there are plenty of places here to accommodate guests should they desire to rest overnight. I'd rather not offer Brandyhall as a private inn to people I do not know."
Peteshaw's eyes glowed and his face turned red as he gasped for air like a fish. Frodo assumed he was insulted, but the result was rather comical more than intimidating. "Are you calling my friends thieves Meriadoc?!"
"No sir!" Merry answered quickly, trying to calm him down, "I just cannot hope to provide for so many alone. Not even with my gardener to help," he said and he ignored Frodo glowering beyond Hornblower. "My stables are small too, and would not house more than two or three more ponies, and, wait," but Hornblower had already turned on his heels and was now stalking to the right of the hole in the direction of the stables, wherein he'd discover at least ten empty stalls and a training field large enough for four carriages to be stored in.
Hornblower was already half way there and Merry found himself chasing him down with Frodo hot on his heels. "Wait, Mr. Peteshaw, listen!" Merry tried to explain but Hornblower wasn't having any of it.
"If I find out you're a liar, Mr. Brandybuck," Hornblower called, looking over his shoulder as he strode into the stables, "you'll be hearing from--," and then there was a loud bang like metal ringing and suddenly Hornblower was shouting incoherently like a cock at sunup.
Frodo's laughter filled the air but Merry didn't find the situation funny. Hornblower had walked right into the wheelbarrow of fertilizer Frodo had left in the middle of the walkway and had tipped it over and was now covered in manure from the waist up. His face was purple from shouting and veins stood out on his brow. His eyes were bulging from disgust and humiliation and he was once against gasping like a fish. "Frodo, get over here!" Merry shouted in a harsh voice. It was the boys fault and so the boy would help get him out.
"Aw, Merry, he deserves it!" Frodo retorted.
"FRODO!"
Frodo soon found himself flinging manure off Peteshaw Hornblower as he sought to unbury the cods legs, muttering to himself as he did so. Once Hornblower was freed enough to pull away he staggered back. Merry caught the man's large shoulders with his hand to steady him and Peteshaw fixed him with that glassy wide-eyed stare and hissed. "I'll get you back for this!" he snarled and turned to stalk back to his waiting carriage, trailing a line of dung after him. Frodo snickered mildly and Merry glared at him as he moved to follow Peteshaw, his long legs allowing him to catch up easily.
"Won't you come inside and clean up at least, please," Merry protested, trying to reason with him. "It was just an accident; the boy didn't mean for anything, I mean, how could he have known you were coming? He was just careless. He's new, and," Hornblower rounded on him, his cheeks shaking with wraith as he addressed Merry.
"If you know what's best for you you'll get rid of that child and get yourself a real maid and perhaps a new gardener with a little more SENSE OF RESPONSIBILITY!"
Merry wiped the spittle off his face as Hornblower snorted and turned again, getting into his carriage without so much as a goodbye and rode away.

Merry stood on the path leading out of Brandyhall for several minutes as he watched the carriage Hornblower had ridden off in turn the bend and go out of sight. He was shaking with anger, the scroll of names crimped in his hand and Frodo was timid to approach him. The boy finished wiping his hands off on his pants and found he felt all the more filthy for having had to rescue that old man from the manure he belonged in. "Th'hell was all that about, Merry?" he finally said, his voice soft but his tone still quite riled. It was his fault the barrow had been position as it was, but he thought the guy deserved what he got.
The glare he got from Merry floored him though and he just stood there feeling young and naughty as the older hobbit controlled his anger. Merry was mad at Frodo? For something that stupid old fat guy did? "Hey, now, wait," he started to protest but Merry's glare turned stern with just a tilt of his head.
"I'm not going to say anything until I've gotten control of my anger, Frodo," Merry said, his voice slow and clipped, forced from behind teeth. "Go wash up."
"But-,"
"Go. Frodo."
Frodo stared at Merry for several long seconds, his expression looking hurt and betrayed before he turned and stormed back into Brandyhall, heading for the bathroom, telling himself he was going to clean up because he felt gross and not because Merry was ordering him to. He scrubbed his skin red and then scrubbed some more and after that he just sat in the tub for a long time, not wanting to get out and see that disappointed and angry look on Merry's face again. He didn't know who the man that had been so arrogant had been, but his mind was making up stories that he was Merry's boss or someone Merry had to work for or owed something to and he had just ruined a much needed relationship between them.
Frodo couldn't fathom why else Merry would be so tolerate of the man's rude behaviour. A party? Here? Merry hadn't said anything about it to him. He had his own right to be pissed. Merry had dismissed him as a simple gardener and although that's what he was it didn't help that it meant he was treated like a mere hired hand. If Merry was going to be angry at him, well he figured he had just as much right to be angry right back.
He finally got out of the tub and toweled off, putting on fresh clean clothes and brushed his fingers through his mop of curls before exiting the bathroom. He followed his way back to the main hall and stopped at the door to the front parlor as he heard Merry's voice as though he were speaking to someone else. "And worst of all he just stood there laughing, like it was some great joke he had planned."
Frodo tightened his fists and stepped into the room as he heard the reply, "Merry, he's just a boy. I'd like to dump a cart of manure on old Hornblower myself."
Frodo was surprised to see Pippin sitting opposite Merry and defending him but there he was with a sort of smirk on his face. Merry's back was to Frodo so he didn't notice him at first, although Pippin did. "I know," Merry said with a sigh, "it's just I," and he paused as he looked at Pippin's face and turned around quickly to see Frodo standing there looking wet and tired and hurt.
"He got what he deserved!" Frodo stated coldly, glaring at Merry.
Merry nodded, "that he did Frodo, but sometimes even though someone needs something bad done to them doesn't mean you should do it. You have to learn some tact."
"I don't let people walk all over me," he answered tartly and saw Pippin wince.
"Frodo," Merry's tone was warning and he turned in his seat more to face the boy, "I'm not letting him 'walk all over me'. There's a whole issue of political steps that you don't know that I have to follow. You wouldn't understand them even if I did explain them."
"Try me," he growled.
"Well that was one of them!" Merry retorted. "He wants a party, and I am obliged to have it for him. Simple as that. Do you agree? No. Neither do I, but I have very little say so in the matter. Hopefully Hornblower'll see you're just a child and not get vindictive."
"I'm not a child," Frodo growled.
"Yes you are, and as long as you keep acting that way I'm going to refer to you as such."
"Why the hell are you acting like you're my father all of the sudden!?"
Merry was on his feet, "obviously someone has to keep you in line!"
Silence settled into the room as Frodo and Merry glared at each other and Pippin, wishing very much that he could just disappear, decided he needed to break the two of them up lest they start saying things they really didn't mean. "Merry, sit down," the older hobbit glared at him but when Pippin's brows beetled close he sat with a rush of air out his nose. "Frodo-lad, come here." Frodo reluctantly went to Pippin and the Thain set him in the chair he'd been in. He then proceeded to put his foot on the chair cushion and lean forward. "The way I see it is all as a big funny accident." Merry turned his glare to Pippin who matched it. "I swear Meriadoc, whatever happened to the hobbitlad that'd raid Farmer Maggot's crops with me as a boy?"
"He grew up," came Merry's gruff response. Frodo winced and looked away.
"Grew up!? Really Merry, you're the one acting like a child right now! Are you mad at Frodo? or Hornblower for blowing his horn? The lad spent all day planting as far as I can tell, and it wasn't like he intended to knock that dung on him, just fate worked out for it. If Pete hadn't been rushing like an over stuffed potato into the stalls as if he owned the place he would've seen it himself!" Pippin looked at Merry hard for a few long seconds to see if he agreed.
"It's not that Hornblower hit the manure, so much it is that Frodo laughed at him for it." Merry finally said, moving his eyes from Pippin to Frodo, but the lad was staring hard at the wall in the distance.
"I'm sorry I laughed at him," Frodo muttered under his breath.
There was a pause and then Merry said, "I know you are, but I don't think he does."
"He can rot in his own manure," Frodo growled.
"C'mon now lad," Pippin said, putting a hand on Frodo's shoulder. "Merry's trying to make amends. Don't go on holding grudges. It's not right."
Frodo blinked slowly up at Pippin, his eyes seeming to say 'bugger off' but Pippin only smiled back down at him. "Well!" Pippin stated brightly, changing the subject suddenly, "what're we waiting for? Diamond sent me over with a pie for you two and I'll be hog washed and tied before I leave without eating a slice!" And with that he skipped off into the kitchen where he had set it down on his arrival, leaving Merry and Frodo in the parlor alone.
"You'll have to write Mr. Hornblower a formal apology, Frodo," Merry said softly at last.
Frodo nodded slightly, "I don't mean to get you into trouble," he replied quietly.
"I know," Merry answered with a sigh, "you're just a boy."
"Would you quit saying that?" Frodo pleaded his tone exasperated. Merry looked at him for several long moments and shook his head.
"But you are just a boy; only twenty-two."
Frodo's eyes twitched slightly, "you don't seem to mind my age so much when we're having sex, Merry," he hissed.
"I do," Merry replied calmly, his tone smooth again as he controlled his emotions, "it's painfully obvious the way you move, act and respond. But I'm willing to try to help you become a man."
Frodo was blushing furiously despite himself, scowling all the while. He hated to be considered young although he knew he was. He had felt Merry had ignored their age difference as he had when they had first made a commitment to each other, but it was clear that as hard as Frodo might try to act mature and responsible there were things he simply could not fake for he needed experience to know how to do them. "I'm sorry, Merry," he said getting off the chair he was sitting on and going to the older hobbit. Merry smiled sadly at him and took Frodo into his arms with a sigh, letting the boy sit in his lap. "I try so hard to be older. I want so much for this to work."
Merry held Frodo lightly, one hand stroking his hair absently as he looked at the boy in his lap, "I want it to work too, but you must know your place. You are mature, dear Frodo, but you are not yet an adult." Frodo nodded at the words. "So if I scold you, don't get angry. I am not trying to be a replacement for your father; I'm trying to help you become a man, and thus trying to strengthen our relationship."
Frodo smiled softly at Merry's words and looked at him as all his anger seemed to rather melt away and he was reminded again why he had fallen in love with him in the first place. "I love you, Merry," he softly said raising his hand to touch Merry's cheek.
"I love you too, Frodo," Merry answered lightly and he let Frodo kiss him as the boy bent to do so. Frodo found it a strange experience to be sitting in Merry's lap and kissing him as it put them on almost the same height level and he did not have to strain to kiss him harder. Having just fought the making up was sweeter than he could have thought, and apparently Merry felt the same way for his hands were gliding along Frodo's back as their kiss deepened to allow their tongues to continue the battle between each other that they so enjoyed.
A very loud cough broke them apart faster than any natural act could have and Frodo wiped at his mouth as he hopped off Merry's lap and blushed pink at seeing Pippin standing in the doorway to the parlor, holding a tray with three slices of pie on it. Merry laughed and grabbed Frodo from behind the waist to pull him back into his lap and although Frodo contested he still watched Pippin embarrassedly.
"Well, now that you two seem to have made up," he quirked an eyebrow at the pair as Frodo giggled and Merry beckoned the pies over, "or made out, be that as it may, I brought you some pie, although I'm wondering if I should've just stayed in the kitchen."
Frodo took a plate of pie sheepishly, unable to keep the red from his cheeks and Merry's arms moved around his waist to get the other piece for himself. "No, dear Pip, we enjoy your company too," Merry said with a chuckle and Frodo shifted to one leg only so Merry could use his arms without reaching around him.
Pippin sat in his chair with his pie piece in his lap watching the two as they spoke softly to each other and one licked a bit of pie off the other's finger and they laughed and set about eating normally. "I'm not sure I'll ever get used to this sight," he said looking at the two and referring to their cuddliness. He had been able to pretend in part that they weren't serious when Merry had told them the night before, but walking in on them kissing, with Merry going about it just as strong as Frodo dashed all silly notions that they were pulling his leg.
"I'm sorry, Pippin," Frodo said and got off Merry's lap to sit on the couch that was still empty. "It's a bit odd for me with you watching too," he said and lifted his fork to eat his pie. Merry ran a hand through his hair, smiling sheepishly at Pippin.
"Thanks for the distraction, Pip. You've always been good at timing," he said, referring to the moment that Pippin left to get the pies, giving himself and Frodo a chance to make up.
"Aah, no problem," and the three lapsed into silence for a bit as they ate their pie.
"This is really good, did Aunt Diamond make it?" Frodo asked after a bit.
Pippin looked at him and nodded, absently wondering how long it had been since he'd stopped calling Merry 'uncle'. He couldn't think of a time he actually had used the uncle expression, for even when he was younger it had always been 'mister'. "Aa, yes she did, quite a good cook, though not as good as your mother Rose."
Frodo felt a smile curl at his lip, "I do miss mother's cooking a bit."
Merry chewed his pie a bit and looked as though he was thinking on something. "Well you might be trying it sooner than you think," Frodo looked up at him, alarmed, "saw your father's name on that list Hornblower had. List for the party he wants to have here," he added for Pippin's benefit, for he had only caught the tale end of the events of Hornblower's visit.
"My dad?" Frodo blinked looking confused, "dad knows him?"
"Well, much as I do, or perhaps, luckily, less. Your father is Mayor of Hobbiton though, and as such he has to meet a lot of folk. Only proper of Hornblower to invite him. Sam probably wouldn't come unless I asked him to, but if you'd like I'll insist they show."
Frodo's eyebrows turned up, horrified at the thought. "No, no, ask them not to come, Merry! What if we slipped up and they found us out? I couldn't handle it, not yet. It's too soon." Pippin sat back in his chair and studied the remainder of the pie in his lap, trying to pretend like he wasn't there.
"We'd just have to be more careful. We knew Pippin knew, so there wasn't a fear he would catch us," Merry said although Frodo looked like he had completely forgotten about Pippin.
"I don't like the idea of it, still," Frodo muttered.
"Nor do I," Pippin voiced and shook his head. "I do love Sam and Rosie and I should like to see them again, but I don't think it would be the best idea just yet. Hornblower would pop a blood vein should . . . anything else happen."
"I'm hoping he'll cancel the whole party for it," Merry said with a grunt as he finished his pie. Frodo just chuckled.
The three sat there talking until afternoon became evening and then Pippin excused himself and they bid him goodnight and he went back to his own hole.
"Merry?" Frodo said as he watched Pippin happily trot off into the darkness.
"Hmm?"
"I'm glad you have Pippin for a friend," he said as he shut the door with a soft smile.
And he meant it.