Seifer

By: Van Donovan
a Final Fantasy VIII shonen ai
17 March 2000 - 17 June 2000
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Disclaimer: This is the third in a series of Final Fantasy VIII stories where I write
the characters into shonen ai [and possibly eventually yaoi] positions  Okay, well this
one really is yaoi and not shonen-ai at all [if just for the "no-love"].  The story was
originally based off my game, but it's less so now. Ah well.  It's still a good read.
I definately consider this one NC-17, or at least R for the sexual innuendo.
As always, if you don't know what shonen ai and/or yaoi is before reading this . . . 
then be warned, you might not like it [although most  likely, if you ARE reading this, 
you will like it]. Anyway, enjoy.
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	What had she expected from a party?  What had she thought would happened?  It wasn't
like he knew the workings of people.  He had no interest in them.  Especially not -now-.
	He lay on his bed fully clothed as always, his arm drapped over his eyes. It 
didn't matter if his eyes were open or closed -- he could still see the events playing over 
and over, endlessly, in his mind -- and he was too tired to keep them open any longer.  The
leering blondes face came back into his vision, the memory so clear he could smell the dank
scent of the man, like old sweat and bland soap.  It made his nose burn.  Moreover he could
hear his raspy deep voice whispering into his ear and feel his gloved hand tracing a pattern
across his cheek.  The events afterwards just blurred into one and kept repeating for him.
It was all he could see, all he could think about.   It replused him; it invigored him.
	His clenched teeth grated as he remembered the events again, trying, for the first
time, to organize them in a chronological event, in the vain attempt to make them make more
sense.  The hand at his side clenched into a fist.  Sleep claimed him as he relived that 
moment in time.

	**So Sleeping Beauty has decided to wake up.**
	His head throbbed.  His arms were taunt and ached.  His back stretched and seared
with pain.  His legs were deadweights.  Slowly, his eyes reopened and adjusted to the dim
lighting of the room.  He gasped and slumped forward as something slammed into the soft of
his belly.  **I'm talking to you!**
	His face was jerked back up and those ice-blue eyes came into focus, narrowed to
points by those tapered blonde brows.  **Mornin' Squall.** he leered, leaning back, the hilt 
of his gunblade disloding from his gut, where he'd rammed him with it.  His entire body
ached.  It took him a moment to realize that it was Seifer before him, leering down with a
hellish grin.  His eyes rolled about, seeing another guard nearby, watching the two. 
	Where was he?
	**You're lucky to be alive.** he mused, rocking back on his heels, his fingertips
playing with the sharpened tip of his gun blade.  **And now,** he added with a smirk, 
looking back up to the limp brunette strung like Jesus on a metal cross before him, **now
I've got you right where I want you.**
	Squall winced.  Seifer was in with Edea, he knew that without a doubt.  He'd already
defeated Seifer once though.  How had he? . . . oh, yes: Irvine's bullet had been deflected
and he'd been taken down in the fight with Edea afterwards.  No wonder his chest ached so.
His eyes snapped open as he felt hands on the sore spot.  Seifer smirked, his gunblade back
in its proper sheath, his left hand pressed against Squall's chest.  **I've got to ask you
some questions, first, though." he said, and the way he gently rubbed the tender spot on
Squall's chest made the recievee feel sick.  He turned his face to the side, closing his
eyes and jerked his arms as if to knock Seifer away, but the chains held him in place.
	He just heard the flick of Seifer's wrist as he removed it from his chest and 
stepped back.  Then, his whole world was engulfed in a flood of searing white-hot pain.  His
body trembled under the electronic currents.  He slumped effortlessly in his shackles when
the current ceased.  Seifer was there again, lifting his chin with those black gloved hands
again.  His eyes darted from Squall's face to the guard who stood watch.  **Leave us be!**
he demanded and the guard hesitated a moment before complying, leaving the mechanism to
the electronics that ran into the torture cross he was strapped to unattended.
	Unexpectedly Seifer asked: **What is the purpose of SeeD?**  Squall's head ached from
whatever had been done to him.  The purpose?  Seifer knew that, didn't he?  Seifer had been
a student at Balamb forever.  Certainly he knew.
	**You should know that.  You were at Garden, too.** He managed to breath, his voice
betraying his aching body.  Seifer stepped back, growling, crossing to where the guard had
been.  Squall's eyes tiredly followed him.
	**There has to be more!** He shouted, angrily.  **They have things they only tell
SeeD graduates!  What is SeeD's purpose!?** He shouted.  The yelling made Squall dizzy.  It
was . . . what?  He noticed Seifer's hand hovering over the controls that operated the cross
he was against.  Should he lie?  SeeD's . . . were seeds?  To plant flowers?  No.  Secret?
He'd learned nothing.  
	**You know all there is to know about SeeD.** he finally answered, and braced for
the onslaught of electricity.  
	Apparently he'd blacked out again when Seifer'd hit the switch, because he only came
to after being slapped several times.  **Ngh.** he moaned, and reopened his eyes to the 
sight of Seifer again, peering at him, smirking evilly.  He couldn't even keep his head up
this time, and Seifer actually had to hold his chin up to make him meet his eyes.  He was
vaguely aware of the sweat beaded on his face and the warm wetness of it trickling down
the small of his back beneath his jacket and shirt.  He found his breath was ragged, and 
figured it'd not been long since Seifer'd shocked him and regaining conciousness now.
	**I've watched you all my life, Squall.** Seifer mused, his thumb caressing part of
his chin as he held Squall's face up, glaring into his compainions pained eyes.  **Always
trying to be as good as you are.  Always admiring you.** he breathed.  Squall understood, 
but his brain hurt too much register everything his torturer was saying.  Admired?  **Yeah.  
I admired you so much, I became obsessed with you.  I took up the gunblade after you.** 
Seifer continued.  Squall fought to swallow a lump in his throat, saying nothing, unable to 
do anything but listen to what the other boy was saying.  **Obsessed with you.  Obsessed 
with your skills and your powers.** he continued, his face so close that Squall could feel 
his breath on his skin.  **I wanted to become better than you. I wanted to defeat you so 
badly; to see you at my mercy, begging me to stop and spare you.  To see you writhe in 
agony and scream my name to stop the pain.** he paused a moment, for breath, getting 
himself worked up as he spoke, Squall tryed to pull himself away from the man who held him 
steady, but his body was bound, and he was too much in pain to stop.  
	**I want to make you suffer; make you atone for how I've felt all these years.**  
he kept Squall's head up with his left hand, but stepped in closer, placing his right hand 
on the tender spot of Squall's chest again, depressing slightly.  **Edea gave me that 
chance.** he said, running his fingers in a small circle over the bruised skin there, his 
eyes looking to his gloved hand moving gently on his captives flat stomach. **Edea let me 
see you as I've always dreamed of seeing you.**  he looked back up at him and Squall 
clenched his teeth.  **She'll let me do as I want to you.  I'll have you yet screaming my 
name for mercy.** he breathed, trailing his hand down, over Squall's navel.  **I'll have 
you whimpering in my hands, your core exposed to me.  I will be the first to discover who 
you truely are, Squall.** he said, pressing in closer, his mouth up against Squall's right 
ear, the other unable to do anything, not even turn his head away, as Seifer still held him 
in place.  **THIS is my romantic dream.** he purred, sliding his hand down the front of 
Squall's belly to the junction between his legs and groping the buldge there, through the
others' tight pants.
	Squall's eyes flew open, staring ahead, past the back of Seifer's head at the dun
coloured wall opposite him.  Seifer pressed his chest against Squall's, cradling his head in
place with his left hand, his right stroking over the leather pants below.  For once, the
SeeD graduate was grateful his legs were chained together, crossed at the ankles.  He tried
to move his armsbut the chains only jingling as he moved.
	Seifer pressed his forehead into the wall before him, his heart beating in his ears,
his body almost so estatic that he was about to tremble.  It was exactly how he'd always 
dreamed it would be.  He might never be more powerful than Squall in battle, not even with
Edea's help, but there was always this that would over power him.  Pure and innoncent
Squall.  Quiet and mild-mannered Squall.  Only -this- could put the top rankig SeeD cadet at 
his mercy.  **Say it.** He hissed.  Squall just remained stiff, eyes wide and shocked, 
staring ahead, fighting his inner turmoil.  Seifer nudged a knee between Squall's, attempting
to spread his legs futher apart and achieving slightly, his hand moving in, cupping more.
**Say it.** he growled into the others ears, stroking what he could in the leather.
	Squall tightened, his body finally overcoming the intial shock and moving onto 
disgust and shock.  Disgust with how his body was reacting, shock with how Seifer was doing
it to begin with.  Then, he registered what Seifer was asking.  Say it?  Say what?  Tell him
was SeeD was for?  No . . . not that.  His eyes squeezed shut as he felt moist lips on his
neck, a soft tongue darting across his salty flesh, and teeth nipping at the skin.  His 
hands, tied up in chains and spread eagle to the side, clenched into fists, unable to do 
anything else.   He bit his lower lip painfully.  **Say it, Squall.** Seifer rumbled into
his neck inbetween menstrations on his skin.  The older teen began moving his kisses, the 
hand at his groin having found a steady pattern and enough lenght to pump through the 
material.  He trailed a series of wet kisses with occasional nips of flesh and welts of red
along the others neck, moving to his throat, and up the other side of his neck.
	**Stop it.** Squall whispered, finally, not knowing what else to say, but wanting to
get Seifer to stop by any means.  Anything was better than this.  The electric current was
better.  Just to kill him would be better . . .
	**Yes,** Seifer purred, pulling his face back from Squall's neck, his hand 
heistating from below.  He listend to Squall's ragged breathing, and found his own matched
similarly.  **That's it.** he cooed and lifted his head, looking at Squall.  The boy's eyes
were tightly shut.  He relished in the look of pure horror on his opposites face.  Pure
TERROR.  He leaned down and gently kissed the scar he'd marked on the beautiful boy's face,
relishing in the way it made the other stiffen.  He kissed the lenght of the scar, entranced
each time Squall's breath fell on his neck.  He could feel the tension building in Squall,
feel his shoulders stiffen, his back arch to resist the other man, all the subtle things he
could do without using his arms and legs.  The knee he had between Squall's legs hit the 
wall behind them and he raised it up, sliding it between the leather pants and against the
dark wall, up to where it met his hand, pressing it up.
	**Stop.** Squall repeated, his voice softer, almost inaudible.  Seifer left his knee 
where it was and removed his hand, tracing it up to the belts that fastened the boys pants
closed, his lips still placing kisses over the other boys face.  **Stop!** he cried, his
voice becoming a whimper.  Seifer's fingers flew at the buckles, unfastening them with an
unlearned skill.  Squall tried to squirm, attempting to toss his head back.  Could Squall
possibly know that each time he cried out it only made him more eager to go on, more driven,
relishing in the power he could command?  He got the buckles all opened and his fingers set
on the button at the top of the pants, popping it open.  He felt Squall's jaw lock, and felt
his body tense more.  **Don't.** he heard hissed through clenched teeth.  Seifer only 
smirked and found the zipper pull, tugging down on it.  **Stop it!** Squall hissed and that
made Seifer pull his head up, resting just inches before Squall's face.  
	**Stop it what?** he mused, attempting to work the pants off the boy's protesting 
hips.  He nudged his knee upwards again, and felt Squall stiffen.
	**I hate you.** he gutterally sounded, trying to raise his face, to get away from
Seifer.  His laxed left hand tightened again on Squall's head and pulled him down again.
	**Mmm,** he breathed, eyes open, drinking in every moment of Squall's discomfort, 
agony and hatred.  **'You', who?** he pressed, dancing his lips over the other's nose.  He
ran his gloved hands over what bit of Squall's hips he could reach, relishing in the 
smoothness of the bare skin he felt.
	That was the game.  **Seifer.** Squall said, and felt the shivers course through the
other's body.  **I hate you Seifer.  Get your fucking hands off me.**  the other growled,
his tone never rising above its steady pitch, but still filled with venom and hatred.
	**I hate you too Squall.* Seifer teased, placing a few kisses on the boy, fighting
down the chill he recived at the others words.  "More than you know." he finished, brushing
his lips over Squall's.  The other boy tried to bite at him and Seifer took him then, 
covering his mouth, tilting his head and pressing into him, the opened mouthed kiss fierce 
with one trying with all their might to resist and pull away and the other forcing it on, 
keeping it going and winning the battle.   Tongue's fought as powerful jaws locked and 
worked.  The hand that held Squall's head took to holding a fistful of hair to direct the
other boy's head around.  He was aroused by the whimpers the boy tried to make but couldn't.
He finally broke away for air.  Squall tried to work his own knees, trying to ram them into
any part of Seifer he could reach, but it did nothing.
	**Scream, Squall.** he prodded, the hand holding his hair tight, keeping the boy's
head in one place.  He tried to kiss Squall again on the lips, but the other spit at him.
**Scream my name, Squall.**  he continued working on getting his pants down off his hips,
having more than a little trouble, especially with Squall trying his damnest to prevent it.
**Scream for mercy!** He demanded, and yanked the top of the pants down past Squall's rear,
and circled along his thighs, to work them off the front completely.  Squall tensed, and
shuttered at the on rush of cold air.  Seifer's hand finished it's task, working the pants
down just to his thighs, and scooped out what rested between the others legs.
	**God.** whimpered Squall.  **God dammit.** he hissed.  His eyes were open and he 
stared up at the ceiling, fighting back the tears that tried to come to his eyes.  **Stop
it Seifer.  Enough.** his voice cracked slightly and Seifer glanced down to see what he held.
Squall tried rattling the chains again, and Seifer smirked, running his gloved hands along
Squall's bared length.  He felt the boy shiver against him.  **Stop it!** he cried.  His
body was conditioned to react against the mind-set he had.  Seifer was right.  This was a
way to break his cool demour.  He no longer cared.  It was either beg for mercy or loose
his pride as a man.  His gloved fists bit into his palms, tight ly, nails biting, and he let
himself go.  How long would it take?  How long would Seifer continue the torture?  **Stop!
God, Seifer!** he screamed.  He knew begging for mercy was the only way to get him to stop,
but each time he let out a cry, the other just seemed to get more intense in his manhandling.
	**What do you WANT?!* he cried, trying to squirm against his agressor.  **What?**
he whimpered, gasping as Seifer changed from a soft stroking to a methodic pumping, wrapping
his entire hand around his length.  His heart slammed in his chest, feeling his head swell.
Whatever it was Seifer was doing, his body wasn't going to be able to take much more of it. 
He wanted to clutch something.  **Seifer!** he pleaded, feeling like he was going to explode
any moment now.  **Seifer, please, stop.** Seifer, looked back up to Squall, seeing the 
tears streaking down the boy's face now.
	He gently kissed the tears away, and Squall tightly shut his eyes, still panting 
from how he was being treated.  Seifer knew that the boy wouldn't be long in coming, and 
that was precisely how far it was going to take him.  When Squall's pleas for stopping 
became just cries and whimpers, he sped up his hands motions.  Squall was somewhere else 
then, not aware of anything but his pain, his pleasure, and his torturer.  Seifer took
several more kisses from him while he was in this intoxicated state of half-bliss, half-
terror, unable to fight back, savouring the taste of Squall's mouth, the scent of the boy's
sweat and hair and the way his salty tears felt on his tongue.  Never once did Squall 
attempt to kiss him back, never once did he give into a rocking motion to encourage an
orgasm, never did he cry out in -pleasure-.
	"SEIFER! PLEASE!" He cried, begging for release.  Just as he felt Squall tensing for 
it, he let go and stepped back, releasing both hair and joint, turning his face away, until 
he got a deep breath.  THIS was his torture.  He turned back, looking to see Squall at the 
brink of climax, left alone now, as he'd asked to be, cold and unfulfilled, even if he 
didn't know what that fulfilment was, and with no means to finish the job.  THIS was pure
torture for a man.  Seifer fought the urges to finish the job; partially he was aching to,
to make Squall come in his hands, to have that over him, as well.  He would be the first, he
knew.  Instead, he just watched Squall there, chained. His eyes were wide and dialated, 
staring into nothingness, his face drenched in a sheen of sweat.  Seifer looked at his right 
hand, and tightened it into a fist.  Squall squirmed, unable to release the extreme pressure 
built up in his body, but thankful that the other had left.  Thankful, but the build-up had
so much pressure he wanted to pop.  If only he could release the pressure, it'd be over, and
all would be alright.  Seifer wouldn't do that.  Seifer knew exactly what condition he'd 
left him in.  Squall was disgusted by his desire to have the other man finish what he'd 
started, so he could let it out, and pass out again. More so, though he felt . . . horrible.  
Violated.   Dirty.  About to explode.
	Seifer looked at him for a long time.  Aroused as much as he was by having listened
to Squall and felt his reactions, he wasn't going to go any further.  He wasn't interested
in sexual favours from Squall.  This was his means of torture.  It was -his- released.  
Squall was just a vessel.  He wasn't gay.  He didn't like men.
	Only Squall.

	"Aaaaugh!" he sat up in bed, drenched in sweat, heart pounding.  He flung his legs 
over the edge of his bed and ripped his jacket off, hand clutching the Griever necklace 
hanging from his neck.  He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to picture anything but Seifer's
leering face.  He felt sick.  He felt like he was going to vomit.  Even though the event
had happened days ago, he still felt as dirty now as he did then.  He yanked his boots off 
as he started for the shower.  A shower that would only rub away the tension, but not the 
dirt.  He'd never be the same again.  He wanted to die.
	Sleep was not an option afterwards.  Dressed like always with his short-cropped 
jacket his only protection against the cold he walked the halls of the Garden until he ended 
up on the second floor, outside the door that lead to the balcony.  The cool air from the 
wind would probably help him forget, at least for tonight.  He opened the door, stepping 
onto the small awning.  He froze seeing a familiar blonde leaning over the railing, but 
sighed when he realized it was Zell, not Seifer.  Zell looked up hearing feet behind him.  
He looked as worn as Squall.  He figured it was just an outward apperance.  Zell couldn't 
feel at all like he did on the inside.  The blonde's blue eyes relaxed seeing who was behind 
him.  Who would he have been afraid of encountering here?
	"Yo, Squall." he softly said, leaning back over the railing, watching the water 
ripple beneath them.  Squall stood his ground.  He'd wanted to be alone.  Undaunted by the 
silence, Zell pressed on.  "Sorry the party . . . sort of blew up.  It really turned out 
lame, didn't it?"  he sighed and slumped.  
	Squall stared at the back of the others head.  Hadn't the whole thing been an 
elaborate setup to get him and Rinoa together?  So what if it hadn't worked.  Why did Zell 
care?  "It was fine." he drily stated, walking towards the balcony finally, deciding Zell 
was easy enough to ignore and he really needed the fresh air.  Zell glanced at him, and 
shook his head. 
	"I didn't mean about you and Rinoa . . ." he blinked and then looked back down.  
Squall raised an eyebrow, but, he didn't press the issue.  What did he care?
	He ran a gloved hand through his hair and leaned against the railing, eyes watching 
the ebony waves crash and lap at the Garden below.  After several more long mintues of 
silence, Zell spoke.  He thought it'd be to excuse himself, but it wasn't.  "Hey, Squall, 
can I ask your opinion on something?" he paused, waiting for the other to acknowledge him.  
Squall just glanced at him.  Zell looked back, then down.  "Uuh, well, you see . . ." how 
should he go about saying this?  "There is a guy back at Garden that I know, um--," shit, 
they -were- at garden.  "I mean, before we started this trip, he was here, and told me 
he . . . met this other guy from another garden, and . . . he was attracted to him."  He 
winced as Squall visably stiffened.  The rest came out in a fast jabber: 
"SoIwaswonderingwhatyouwouldtellhimifhewereyourfriend!"
	Squall's lips were pursed and his eyes were shaded by dark hair.  He was silent for 
a long time not looking at Zell, fortunately for he was blushing, and contemplating the 
question.  Why would Zell ask him this?  He was no good at advice giving. Especially . . . 
not about -this- subject.  "How should I know?" He finally grunted, making Zell stiffen this 
time.  He was crueler than he normally sounded.  He turned away, crossing his arms, and 
staring at the distant blackness.  "Go ask one of the girls."
	Zell's mouth opened and he sighed.  "I don't want them to know I, . . . I mean HE 
feels this way about another guy."
	Squall narrowed his gaze at Zell again and then looked back out at the black water.
He sighed and shook his head.  "I don't know.  Whatever.  It's not my concern."
	"I'm just trying to ask you for--"
	"I don't give advice on love.  Ask Irvine if you want that."
	"Irvine's the one I'm asking abou--, shit! I mean," and he stopped, sighing.
	But, it was out and Squall just looked at Zell with those piercing blue eyes that
seemed to read right to his very core.  Squall was ignorant, and ignorance was bliss, but he
wasn't stupid.  Even in the wan moonlight the SeeD leader could make out the burning rouge
on Zell's cheeks.  "So tell him how you feel.  He'll probably take you, romance you and dump
you in a week, like he probably does everyone else."  Squall mechanically said, and looked
away again.  Zell didn't move.
	Squall was silent, hard and unfriendly, but at least he wasn't judgemental.  Zell
sighed and rubbed the back of his head.  He was trying to think of something else to say in
reply, but Squall actually spoke first.  "Is that what you want?"  He didn't look up.
	Zell glanced to the back of Squall's head.  "No, of course not . . . I . . . I don't
know, Squall.  I mean, I have a girlfriend back at home.  I've never . . . thought like this
before.  Irvine just, . . . he's got this . . . aura." Zell sighed and shook his head.  "I
guess it's stupid.  It'd just be a mistake I'd regret.
	"Thanks Squall, I feel a little better now."  Zell finished and turned to go, then
looked back at Squall, who hadn't moved or replied.  "Hey, you okay?  Squall?"
	"Oh? Hmm?"
	"You okay?  Y'seem a bit more distant than normal."
	"Aa, I'm fine.  Goodnight."
	Zell just looked at him a moment longer then nodded, sighed and turned to go back
inside, contemplating what to do with himself.
	He wasn't prepared to face who was waiting for him outside his room.